Letting Go, Releasing In Love

Three points to ponder:

Realize releasing impacts every area of our lives; physically, mentally, psychologically and spiritually.
Releasing clutter isn’t only about things.
How to release IN love, not only with love.

1) Starting with the body first. Imagine how it would be to only take in our breathe and not let it go or how we would feel if we ate and never eliminated its waste.

Gregg Braden at a Science and Spirituality Conference I attended addressed letting go of our old story about who we have been taught to think we are as it keeps us locked in separation, competition, struggle, conflict and scarcity; it programs us to be victims and powerless. He reminded us that we are the only form of life that can choose to awaken, solve our problems, choose our relationships, heal our bodies and create our own sense of worth.

I maintain that our old story about ourselves is locked into old time religion that teaches guilt, blame and shame. Guilt being feelings associated with our behavior; shame being feeling inadequate, a sense of worthlessness, both precipitate self-rejection and blame.

Here are some of the distinctions between old time religion, OTR and new thought spirituality of the 21^st century, NTS.

OTR

Scares with fear
Controls with guilt, blame shame
Need for rites, ceremonies to be connected to God and to be saved
Punishment
Discourages questioning
Don’t think for yourself, we will tell you what to think
Denial

NTS

Fear and love can’t co-exist
We are immersed in God and can never be separate; rites and ceremonies remind us of this
Consequences
Encourages questions and discussion
Teaches how to think and and how the mind works Tell the truth

The following are some distinctions between Religion and Spirituality.

Religion

Outward focus / what we DO
Challenges us to a standard of BEHVIOUR
Primarily addresses the realm of duality / positionality
Can be sectarian / divides people into conflicting groups
Comprised of concrete dogma
Is man made

Spirituality

Inward directed – is who we ARE
Challenges us to a standard of BEING
Addresses non-duality – oneness
Unites, its central ideas hold the group

together with love, kindness, forgiveness, gratitude, acceptance, being non-judgemental and peaceful

Comprised of direct realization of what is real
Is not man made

Differences may and usually do exist among religions, but not among truly spiritual teachings. Spirituality can exist without religion, but healthy religion can not exist without spirituality.

I think what all of the above is pointing to is to relinquish all ways we treat ourselves lovelessly, unlovingly, whether in body, mind or spirit.

I recall a friend telling me in her Roman Catholic upbringing, when as a child, she was taught to kneel in church and thump her chest repeating: “I am not worthy, I am not worthly”.

2) Releasing clutter isn’t only about things

An energy drain happens whenever we think of it, (clutter), pass by it, whether a drawer, closet or the trunk of the car etc.

In watching a television program on hoarding for a few minutes, I was reminded that ultimately it indicates a high self-preservation urge with fear associated with dying underneath.

When my husband and I downsized from a large suburban home to a much smaller urban condo it surprised us when it took so many trips to the thrift stores, recycle shop and the number of suitcases filled with clothes that we donated to Our Place, an organization which helps the homeless. I think a good exercise would be to imagine you are moving across the country and you would be paying all the expenses. What would you release? It probably would be stuff you do not love or use.

Releasing clutter isn’t only about physical things, it includes the clutter of negative emotions. Many times people when asked how they are feeling without realizing it they answer with what they are thinking instead. That kind of sentence usually starts with “I’m feeling that” or” I’m feeling like”. Most of our emotions stem from four main feelings: mad, glad, sad or afraid.

When feeling angry or mad I like to suggest to go deeper. If done, then hurt is uncovered; but deeper still is fear. Telling the truth about feeling afraid to someone who is a committed listener is very healing. The person speaking is then validated.

No real healing happens unless there is forgiveness. Forgiveness is for you not the person you are forgiving. Not forgiving holds you as hostage and it is difficult if not impossible to go on with your life in a joyful way.

To release the clutter of resentment, to forgive others; to release regret, forgive yourself. Let go of criticizing; what we criticize we keep in our lives. The universe usually brings it back to us to educate us, if we are willing .

Other words for releasing and letting go are eliminating, renouncing and purifying. I like the words Radical Pastectomy, releasing the past which also includes doing our family of origin work. Important questions are: am I complete with my mother & father. Complete, not as in finished, but as in having those relationships restored to wholeness if there seemed to be anything in the past that distanced us.

I participated in numerous intensive workshops that gave me the opportunity to “complete” with my mother and father. My father died of alcoholism and cancer at the age of 59 when I was 19. My undemonstrative mother died of cancer at the age of 46 when I was 16. She never told me that she loved me, even after I asked her to tell me so, she pushed me away. My father made me knell as punishment whenever I was a bad girl. He would say “Knell & think about how bad you were”.

A Radical Pastectomy includes anything we have been nursing, rehearsing, caressing, resisting, & refusing to release. Just think that if we released all of the above, we would have no more drama in our lives. If you think you can’t, you are addicted to it – the drama. and giving your power away.

Some people have difficulty releasing the clutter of past relationships, whether a split up, divorce or death.

I agree with author Barbara De Angelis when she wrote about the stages of recovering from a relationship. If we don’t heal from a past relationship we carry it to the next one.

So many people jump right into a new relationship without fully releasing and doing their recovery work.

Barbara suggests:

Separation / parting – takes 2weeks – 2 months

Adjusting / adapting – takes 2-6 months

Healing takes 6 months – 1 year

Recovery / breakthrough takes 1-2 years.

Whether physical, mental, emotional, psychological or spiritual, know when we release that there is a superior alternative being prepared for us – making room in your life for newness to flow in.

3) Let go in love; even if something is lost the other who found that thing needed it more than you. I say IN love rather than WITH love. WITH love would be feeling the emotion of love. IN love is realizing we are immersed in the power of love all the time whether we are aware of it or not. We are love at the core. I repeat, relinquish any and all ways we are treating ourselves unlovingly.

Two powerful exercises are to list anything you are currently tolerating and list any current petty annoyances: people, situations, circumstances, things and relationships.

Let go of who and what we think we are and remove any emotional attachment to it. Replace it with who, what we really are. Soul – choose soul, your new life awaits.

I love the following writing by Rev. Safire Rose:

“She let go. Without a thought or a word, she let go.She let go of the fear. She let go of the judgments. She let go of the confluence of opinions swarming around her head. She let go of the committee of indecision within her. She let go of all the ‘right’ reasons. Wholly and completely, without hesitation or worry, she just let go.

She didn’t ask anyone for advice. She didn’t read a book on how to let go. She didn’t search the scriptures. She just let go. She let go of all of the memories that held her back. She let go of all of the anxiety that kept her from moving forward. She let go of the planning and all of the calculations about how to do it just right.

She didn’t promise to let go. She didn’t journal about it. She didn’t write the projected date in her Day-Timer. She made no public announcement and put no ad in the paper. She didn’t check the weather report or read her daily horoscope. She just let go.

She didn’t analyze whether she should let go. She didn’t call her friends to discuss the matter. She didn’t do a five-step Spiritual Mind Treatment. She didn’t call the prayer line. She didn’t utter one word. She just let go.

No one was around when it happened. There was no applause or congratulations. No one thanked her or praised her. No one noticed a thing. Like a leaf falling from a tree, she just let go.

There was no effort. There was no struggle. It wasn’t good and it wasn’t bad. It was what it was, and it is just that.

In the space of letting go, she let it all be. A small smile came over her face. A light breeze blew through her. And the sun and the moon shone forevermore.

She let go. Without a thought or a word, she let go”.